I think I heard this phrase from Ron Sylvia first, but it sure captured it for me.
The question I’m dealing with right now is where is God at work. Not in theory. not just theologically safe, but where in my life, do I feel sure, confident, whatever, that God is there. There are places and all of them squoosh out between my fingers when I squeeze my fingers too tightly, but this is one that keeps coming through for me. The dump truck of affirmation.
Let’s face it, following God isn’t easy, and it is hard to know where to go, what to do, and whether you are walking with God or lost in the wilderness. So I get discouraged sometimes – a lot of times – and I’ve learned to let God know that. My prayer is something like this, “God, this is tough. I don’t know if what I’m doing is working, whether it’s worth it, or whether you are even there right now. Can you let me know?” And when I ask I get an answer, God comes through bigger than I expect. I start getting emails and phone calls from people – unsolicited, things start working out, people appear out of nowhere to take on leadership roles or fill gaps that are driving me crazy. It’s like God has everything going just fine, and cracks it open wide enough for me to see how what I’m up to fits into it – more than enough to keep me going. It’s not a hint, not a suggestion that could be easily dismissed as chance or selective perception, its the dump truck of affirmation.
Plop. “There it is,” God says, “you asked. Try and deny it.”
I know, this all sounds kind of weird to me too. But it happens. Every time. Sometimes the affirmation is not of what I’m doing but the new direction that I should be heading. Coming from God though, it isn’t like a reprimand, but like an inviting open door showing me what I want more than what I have. I guess God doesn’t just tell us – or at least me – what I should or shouldn’t do, and God doesn’t just melt the problems away, God does seem to care enough about me to want me to know I’m not alone and that what I’m doing is worthwhile and not just an invention of my own imagination.
Try it. Be honest with God about your discouragement. I can make no guarantees about how it will work out for you, but that dump truck of affirmation keeps backing up for me and dropping another load. So… I guess I’ll go back to work tomorrow and finish that message and try to connect with a few more lives this week.
do you expect God to show up? I just happen to be watching land of the lost and sometimes I feel like the good Dr. “are you saying chorizo taco’s?” he can’t understand with chaka is saying so he just makes of words that he understands. That is kinda like my relationship with God, I start to make up reason’s that he cannot show up for me. They don’t make sense and I don’t understand why I do it but I expect I am not good enough for his attention. Gotta watch out for those sleestacks.
You’ll have to help me understand what your roadblock on this is a little better. I suppose I don’t really believe that I am notable enough for God to bother to answer my request for a “sign.” But that is partially why it is so amazing and meaningful to me; God actually comes through. Like she cares about who I am and what I am doing enough to respond to me.
Maybe what I’m saying to you is that it isn’t a matter of whether you think you are worthy of a response or not, just ask. You can be assuming that you aren’t worthy when you ask, but when you do, watch out and step back. A dump truck is about to drop a load at your feet. Deny it, hide from it, make up alternate explanations… doesn’t matter, God will wear you down. And then all of a sudden a smile will start to break out on your face and you’ll be saying, “God, that’s you, isn’t it.”
I get it 🙂